- You don’t care as much about what other people think of you. You are not so beholden to our threat detection mechanisms.
- Your ability to recognize “your” people strengthens; you are more able to recognize people with whom you connect.
- Your emotional regulation is better.
- You understand humility. You are less self-centered, more concerned with being the best possible person you can be.
- Problem-solving skills get better. People are recognizing the staying power of older people and putting it to use.
Dr. Burnight then asked the audience to picture themselves at the “best possible you” at age 97. “Will you be wearing red glasses, laughing with grandchildren, being curious about new things?” she asked.
In dialogue at the Gleacher Center with Seth Green, Dean of the Graham School, she explained how you get there and plan for your Joyspan—the title of her 2025 bestseller and aspirational approach to having “the years of life we genuinely enjoy living.”
“We understand lifespan—the number of years we live—and healthspan—the years we live in good physical and cognitive health. I wanted to write about the art and science of thriving in life’s second half,” she told the audience.
Named one of Time’s 100 health honorees for 2026, Dr. Burnight said that she is on a mission to make older better. She taught geriatric medicine and gerontology at the University of California, Irvine, School of Medicine and is the cofounder of the nation’s first Elder Abuse Forensic Center. “My work in elder abuse showed the neglect and financial abuse older people endure. People prey on older people, exploiting those who are isolated and alone,” she said.
She has spoken at the White House, the U.S. Department of Justice, and frequently on news and talk shows about her research and teachings. A woman who noted that she often found herself realizing she was the oldest person in a room, found ways to own that after her Chicago presentation.
Dr. Burnight continued:
“In 1900, the life expectancy was age 47. Now there is practically a whole new generation added in the 65 and older category. The ‘stay young’ industry is fed by fear and fueled by incredible dollars. We are led to believe it isn’t graceful to grow old—but old isn’t a bad word. We should claim it. When someone says you don’t look your age, acknowledge that you do. Traditionally we haven’t had role models, and those in the second half of their lives need to model for their children and grandchildren.
“Joy is about wellbeing and life satisfaction. It is different than happiness, which is externally dependent. Joy can exist even in pain, anxiety, or grief. Joy is big enough to support you in loss of loved ones or cognitive loss.”
To get ready for your 100-year life, Dr. Burnight suggested a few tips:
“Brush your teeth while standing on one foot—and close your eyes to make it even harder. Move each day; muscles are currency. Prioritize sleep, eat unprocessed foods, stay hydrated, and stay less on your phones. Practice what the verbs tell us: work, grow, commit to self-education. Do hard things, be a beginner, get some tap shoes.”
“Loneliness is epic and toxic. It is like smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
“If you find that you are not going to places that used to give you meaning, you need to stop and think. My mother is 97 years old and she has outlived 99 percent of her friends. I advised to diversify her social portfolio, and to realize that younger people get more from older people than vice versa. Realize that you have something to give—and then give it.
“A friendship circle developed by British author Robin Dunbar is very helpful. He encourages you to draw the circles with those you know in them. The circle closest to you might have just a few people—those you count on at any time—then in circles further out, ones that are less close. To have those friends, you have to be that friend. When you meet someone who you think you would like to know, you need to say in your mind: ‘I like this person and I am authentically interested in you.’”
Molly Conley, Executive Director of The Village Chicago, shared her take on the day.
“I went to hear Dr. Burnight talk about Joyspan and ended up having one of those mornings that sticks with you. I connected with a new acquaintance whom I had invited to this 7:30 a.m. book discussion on a Monday morning—which is not how I usually start my week or meet someone for the first time. It turned out to be memorable in the best way. I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I love when that happens.
“Looking back, it struck me that our connection happened in exactly the way Dr. Burnight describes—showing up with curiosity, being open, and taking the time to truly connect. It’s simple, but it’s powerful.
“That’s also what defines The Village Chicago. This isn’t just a concept; it’s a community where people are still learning, still giving, still finding purpose in ways that feel real and meaningful. It’s connections that matter, where everyone has something to offer and something to gain.”
“People who endorse positive aging live 7.5 years longer,” Dr. Burnight said. “Waking up with a thank you goes a long way: I am grateful for my bed, my dog, my partner, whatever is dear to you.
“Ageism is patronizing. No one should be bubble wrapped.”
For more information on The Graham School visit: graham.uchicago.edu
For information about The Village Chicago visit: thevillage-chicago.com
Joyspan by Dr. Kerry Burnight is published by Worthy Publishing.
